Words: Rosalind Gribben (she/her)
Above the Gilbert Scott building, a determinative finger creates an ominous shadow over the quadrangles annually. This year, the finger pointed down at the spire and declared nationally – ‘SIXTEEN’. The building and its inhabitants remained unphased – even the statistical surveys of the 21st century are in keeping with the Gothic revival. 16th, 14th, or 28th. Depending on which finger is pointing. Whether that hand belongs respectively to The Times, The Guardian or The Complete University Guide is indicative of our ranking. The inconsistency of these informed sources lays down the shallow foundations of the value of their results and raises the question: ‘How can the university experience be quantified and should anyone care?’
Our harshest markers, The Complete University Guide (CUG), advocate for teenagers to aspire to attend universities that foster a competitive environment and provide rigorous courses; they choose their first category of examination as the average entry standard. This is calculated by using the mean number of UCAS points that current students have accumulated during their secondary school careers, whether that be Highers, Advanced Highers or A-levels. While knowing the standard of applicants is helpful, a quarter of the university’s overall score being based on the successes of secondary schools is just plain illogical. I would prefer to see a progression statistic – showing how much have students improved, from arriving as sweaty first years to leaving as broke final years who have endured the peaks and troughs of student life. Can lecturers genuinely develop brains surviving on Murano meals, two hours of sleep and Pints of Fun? Creating a table of universities of cultivation before maintenance would display a more accurate reality than judging universities on how good their students were before they even reached the front gates.
Another category used for ranking by the CUG is student satisfaction. 500 million final year students across the UK sat down last year to participate in the National Student survey (NSS), which consists of 24 questions about the teaching on the course, learning opportunities, etc – apart from Oxbridge. Since 2017, Oxford’s and Cambridge’s boycott of the NSS has left their student satisfaction box empty. And yet, these boxes sit heavily on top of 128 other boxes full of representation, seemingly resolute in secrecy.
A similar indifference is demonstrated by the ‘overall score column’. Their methodology states ‘To allow for missing data, the sum of the z scores was divided by the number of measures with available data’. Translation: no impact endured to our finest. There is no denying the academic excellence of these schools in question. Perhaps the minority of students prefer anonymity so they can burn their fifties in front of the homeless in peace. I don’t think the NSS has a tick box for that particular opportunity – I’m sure come 2025 they could gain points for individuality! Regardless of this, both Oxford and Cambridge remain consistent in the top 5 of The Times’ international rankings. But who knows what the majority of their own students have to say.
It is not to suggest these rankings lie completely futile to prospective students, as they also rank key factors such as graduate prospects. They also have helpful subject specific tables that can be of more use when looking for the quality of output for a specific course rather than an institution as a whole. However, there are still over 160 universities in the UK of which many will provide very similar courses. Prospective students’ intrigue can be left lost as to how these numbers translate to become the next 4 years of their lives.
How much a university and its location can satiate your interests lie paramount to the decision to be made. City or campus? I promise this isn’t the start of a flow chart in the centrefold of a teen magazine (but if you did pick campus: your favourite colour is definitely blush pink). From this one decision, around ½ of the universities can be crossed off the unceasing list – seemingly simple but don’t let the impact be understated. The options lie clear. There is a room lying empty with a window looking down from a sky-high block of flats onto the busiest shopping street in the area. Cafés, restaurants, museums, pubs, and clubs a distance not dissimilar to the one to the fridge. Living alongside people and the culture of the city to which your university owes its namesake. But there is another room lying empty a few 100 miles away too. It has the same window, yet, beyond this lies a grassy path leading to the main university building, a student gym, and a café. The path continues out and away; over the fence and onto nearby hills, through woodlands and around lakes. Like-minded students are out running, reading, chatting and walking throughout the day. Obviously, there also lies another room quite comfortably between these two hyperboles. There’s no denying that choosing this comfortable fit is hard.
So, I’ve looked into one close to home for you. How well does Glasgow satiate the university experience? Which of its branches intersect to satisfy you as an individual? Recognised by UNESCO as a top 3 music city, the music scene in Glasgow is spoiled for choice with larger venues such as the O2 and the Hydro hosting big names such as Beyonce, Arctic Monkeys, and Charli XCX this coming December. However, Glasgow is a city that remains undeterred by the presence of fame, nurturing local talent too. Older figures such as Simple Minds and Primal Scream are the material product of the plethora of lower capacity venues, that allow smaller artists to grow, and of which are still fighting to exist today. Maybe it’s not music for you. Art works too. The Kelvingrove Art Gallery hosts organ recitals, homes Dali and Rembrandt paintings, while celebrating Glasgow-born artists such as the renowned Charles Rennie Macintosh. You could visit these on the way to a sub-crawl with the Communist society or before Ballroom dancing. I couldn’t say; I don’t know you. And neither do the ranking tables.
Don’t let it be the difference between 8th and 9th that dictate your decision. Visit the libraries, follow a society on Instagram or let your gut instinct take hold. That one sticky union floor might just be better than the others!
