Words: Catherine Mullner (she/her)
There is one universal truth crouching beneath the surface of our screens, pacing back and forth, caged and agitated: everyone lies. Is this because of the deep-rooted fear within all of us that if we are honest about who we are, what we desire, what we fear, we will not be worthy of love and connection?
Hinge.
A harsh, unforgiving landscape. One that demands so much from its inhabitants, and yet gives so little for their survival. Packed with automated templates and faux-candid moments, we are left searching for an oasis – the dream of connection beyond the bright white façade of this digital terrain. Who truly inhabits this wild jungle? How is one to navigate, not knowing there could be untold dangers around every bend?
In a never-before-seen exclusive, we have braved this alien world, exploring not just the lengths of this previously unknown environment, but the ways of the mysterious creatures that lurk within. Much like the deep sea anglerfish, which utilizes bioluminescent bacteria on its modified fin spine to lure in its meal, research has uncovered that each species in this barren wasteland has its own unique tactics to achieve their survival.
Come with me, as we get an intimate, never-before-seen look at the creatures that inhabit this barren land.
This is Planet Hinge.
The Mimic
The Mimic is one of the more common creatures residing on Planet Hinge. Much like the common crow or raven found on Planet Earth, the Mimics are bountiful in all environments on Hinge. He is ‘silly goofy’, down for a good time, and promises that he can’t wait to see your crazy.
The Mimic’s profile is relatable, fun, and easy to read. In a way, he’s saying all the right things. But, one has to ask: is that because he’s afraid of saying the wrong things, or because he has nothing to say at all?
Prompts of the Mimic
‘I’m looking for…’ A yapper! Girls with zero sense of direction! Someone to match my freak!
‘First round is on me if…’ You can listen to me talk about the Real Housewives after one drink.
‘The way to win me over is…’ To be a little crazy.
Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing may seem soft at first. Take the common barn owl for instance, whose heart-shaped face and soft feathers make them seem like the perfect cuddle companion. Yet, underneath these squishable faces lies predatory instincts – the ability to hunt by sound alone or utilise tools to catch and eat their prey. Researchers warn to stay on our guard when presented only with the fluffy and adorable. No creature, no matter how squishable, can remain so forever.
Before you know it, the true creature appears – talons and all.
Prompts of the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
‘Guess the story behind this picture…’ It’s always him cuddling a dog or a baby.
‘Are you a dog person because…’ A picture of a dog or him with a dog. Sometimes, it’s just a picture of a cat, to slightly subvert the prompt.
‘My favourite way to spend the day…’ It’s always him cuddling a dog, or a baby
The Dazzler
We have all seen those videos of male birds-of-paradise strutting their stuff, fluffing their long orange tail feathers in an elaborate display to attract a mate. On Planet Hinge, a similar creature roams the land, displaying his plumage proudly for the chance of attracting attention: the Dazzler.
He utilises choreographed dance, tried and tested, to persuade you to take another look in his direction – or maybe two. Do all creatures move this way, inclined by their very own nature? Or is it scripted, directed, or, dare I say, planned?
Prompts of the Dazzler
‘To me, relaxation is…’ Going to the gym/ training at the gym.
‘Most spontaneous thing I’ve done…’ Run this year’s marathon/ run any marathon/ and oh, it looks like I’m going to run another, whoops!
‘You’d never know it, but I…’ Have travelled to over 25 countries/ can bench-press you.
It is in this carefully crafted menagerie of ‘candid’ gym pictures that it becomes clearer than ever that we are reduced to animal instinct. We mimic interested parties, we learn to adapt, and spot signs of danger.
We weave narratives of ourselves as individuals when truly we are united by the same unwavering goal:
Connection.
Perhaps it is not so much about what we present to win attention and validation, how we ‘decorate our nests’ for a potential suitor, but who we want to appear as to ourselves.
There is one universal truth crouching beneath the surface of our screens, pacing back and forth, caged and agitated: everyone lies. Is this because of the deep-rooted fear within all of us that if we are honest about who we are, what we desire, what we fear, we will not be worthy of love and connection?
We are all insecure. We all feel alone. We all want connection.
Whether you like it or not, we are living on this Planet (Hinge) together.
