Words: Gemma Sawyer (she/her)
You miss your own colours. You miss your own joy and love of life. You haven’t let anyone in for a while, and this is only advancing the growing distance between you and the shore, now barely visible from the turbulent patch of murky water.
Give in to love.
Give in to love. Come out of the shadows and give into love.
You know what will make you feel better. Floating here on the ocean, the first hurdle is the hardest, but that won’t stop the voice. It’s within you, and it always has been.
They can be trusted with your pain.
Give. Into. Love.
Floating here, as grim as it is, has become normal. The vast expanse of boundless grey, which at first daunted you so, has lost its scary nature. You no longer thrash around, trying desperately to tread water and breathe. Instead, all you feel is numbness as you have learned to carry yourself on the current. You’re desensitised to your own chaos and loneliness. Yet you know a better way of living is out there, and each wave the ocean brings is another call to escape its bitter clutches.
But where do you escape to?
With whom can you escape?
You dream of an island, an oasis among the monotone colours of your sea. Colour would be the antidote right now, a reminder of life’s abundance and the opportunities you so dearly miss.
You miss your own colours. You miss your own joy and love of life. You haven’t let anyone in for a while, and this is only advancing the growing distance between you and the shore, now barely visible from the turbulent patch of murky water.
The brush of a hand on your arm, the whisper of a voice nearby, ushering in a breath of life, renewed strength. Everything is going to be okay. You can let go of the ocean for now. The tides can carry you back to shore, where people stand, waiting to embrace you and love you. You know they love you, and you love them. You weathered the high seas, and it makes you realise the joy with which you will savour and relish in the summer months, of tropical warmth and coral more colourful than any rainbow.
You’re resilient, a fighter. You didn’t traverse this storm for so long to give up now.
But you didn’t claw yourself back to the real world alone. No, that could only have been done with your fellow seafarers.
The shoreline creeps back into view. For the first time since you were adrift, the people, too, are visible.
And they’re emitting noise. It’s only as you get closer that you realise that they are chanting in harmony.
We’ve been waiting for you. Give into love.
You begin to realise your mistakes. How unfair to shut those out who love you when all they want to do is help. You wouldn’t be whole without them. No one can live a life alone
And with that hug, the catharsis is released, a little of your energy leaves your body, the burden eased by the one you’re squeezing, as they squeeze you. The exchange of energy is a binding contract-
“I love you, and you love me”.
And with that, you can begin to heal. Give in to love.
